Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.

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(567): View more from Ohio

you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.

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(815): View more from Illinois

shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

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(513): View more from Ohio

Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

You're welcome.

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(916): View more from California

Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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(815): View more from Illinois

We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.

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