Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
its not stalking. its research.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Text me some of your sweat
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
