But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
