I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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