They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
