508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
