Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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