the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
