Apparently you make a good broom.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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