just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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