laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
