Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
