did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
