Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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