is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
