you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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