it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
a search helicopter?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
