You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
