i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
