I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
