Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
