i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
