all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
