AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
