I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
