I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize