Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
