You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
