yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
These tits shall not be calmed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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