you would pick up someone in the library
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
