You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
