forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
