If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
