I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
