I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
