my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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