well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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