I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
