just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize