i jhust puked up my retainher.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
