We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
