did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
