"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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