i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
