If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
