are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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