in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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