because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
