I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
