i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
