4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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