i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
