Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
