just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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