I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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