eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
