i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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