Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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