do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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