So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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