found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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