Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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